0dd0ne0ut

Fun.

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 02:58:08 GMT

My counselor talks to me like I'm retarded though I don't blame him because I ask things that any retard should know.

I'm so disappointed. Johnny said that we can stop tutoring him because he wants to be tutored at school cuz it's free and he feels bad for paying us. Mom replied that if he came today then he would've had to walk home then so he better convince his mom to let him be tutored at school. Go Mom!

He came and I was too lazy to make him food so I let him do it because he thinks his fried rice is better than me (So wrong) but at least I didn't have to cook. He then used our computer to watch Negima and he told me that it was pervy so I felt bad for letting him watch it so I said that he's only allowed to watch one episode because his mom won't approve of it. He started whining that his internet was down for four days but I didn't care.

I was talking with Mora on the phone and I kicked him off the computer to send her GIMP. I was busy so I let the two talk to each other though he only said Hi. Mora started saying that his tongue should be cut off because he didn't say good-bye and I started expanding on that by saying she wants to make soup with your tongue or something like that and he was like shocked which is weird because I tease him all the time and he knows I'm kidding.

Anyways I went back to my room and he stopped watching Negima to listen in on us in a not-so-subtle way. He acted like my door was jammed and he was fidgeting with it like crazy. He finally came with a comeback and said that Mora should be pummeled with tomato. Whatev. He started to become annoying so my mom took him home but before that I said that Mora lived close to him and was waiting for him at his house and he started asking for her address and I lied saying that she doesn't want to give it to him. I offered to let him talk to her and he ran out into the dark and fell down. LOL. That's mean but he's annoying. So gullible. Now if that doesn't get me fired then I don't know what will. Here's hoping. Though I don't want to explain to his mom that it was all a joke. Ugh.

Dream...

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 02:39:23 GMT

I had a dream that I wanna decipher.

I was visiting a friend's house. They were dressed all nicely and the mom explained to me that they were about to go somewhere and in the back, Friend was arguing with the Dad. I called my mom to come pick me up and I felt totally bad for making them wait for me to be picked up so I thought that maybe they should go ahead or else they'll be late and it's a dream so it's like, "Done.". They left me in charge of their house and I just sat around locking doors and windows. I heard someone come up the driveway and I thought it was my mom but the family totally busted through the door and I was like, "I thought you guys were going out?"

"We are out." Bam, living room is now a restaurant. They start eating and Friend runs up to room crying because of something Dad did.

Nobody did anything and I was about to say something when "Anh, would you like to come with me to buy something for Friend?" Then it ends.

I was surprised that I had that dream because I had just went to the movies to watch Saw 4 and I was freaked about having some sick nightmare.

I think Friend represents a stable future because I see this person as someone who'll be able to do well in life and who knows where they're going and they have the necessary skills to get there and that's not me so there is someone else who represents that. A bright future.

When Friend was arguing with Dad, that's my brain going, "Your future is in trouble."

When I was locking the doors, and windows, I was, "trying to be safe/securing myself"

My mom also can't come to my aid when my future doesn't seem to be there/exist/bright?

When friend ran away, I think it meant nothing because my mind wanted to make a situation where the Mom could ask me if I wanted to buy something for friend and yenno people don't talk about buying gifts with the person around.

When asked, "If I wanted to buy something for Friend" = "Are you willing to pay for a stable future?/ Work for it?"

I think I said yes but... I'm not sure because I was like, "Wouldn't my mom be coming? Won't it be awkward shopping with my Friend's Mom?"

That's my interpretation. I could be wrong because I didn't use any dream book thingy or I could just be missing my Friend.

Am I willing to work for a stable future?

Yes but I don't think I'm going about it the right way...

Today was kinda a bummer. I couldn't sleep last night because I took a nap around 6 and I was wide awake until 1? But I had class at 9. Weirdly though, I woke a 6:30 and couldn't go back to sleep so I got ready hecka early. I wanted to stay home so I checked my mails for any notice from my teacher. I was hoping he was sick but then I felt bad about that and was relived when he was well. I got there at 8 because I beat the morning rush and I just went on DA. Teacher was sick and he sent an e-mail RIGHT AFTER I LEFT THE HOUSE. Karma?

I thought about going home but I hate driving so I did homework which was good. Got a lot done, but I forgot most of my books at home and I forgot lunch. So I was hungry and did whatever work I could find. Catherine E came and I decided to buy a snack. Couldn't buy an actual lunch because Saw 4 sucked my money away. Went to Precal and then home.

There was a detour though. The police directed us away from my route home and there were sooooo many cars trying to get home and I hated it. Called my brother and he was like, "Okay? Bye." I was hoping for some concern but my brother is so inconsiderate sometimes. Got home. Relieved. Didn't have homework to do so yea!

Though Johnny actually went, "Can you stop drawing because it's really distracting me." WTF? I was working quietly on the computer and my brother was typing like crazy and he's distracted by me? Hell no, I deserved to draw and it's not my fault you're so easily distracted (or maybe it's actually selective distraction?). "Cant' you turn away?"

"..."

XD (Total win!)

Then I went on to reading fables for him because he has trouble with remembering details. He can read but the story just whoosh past him. I made up a thing where he has to draw out the story because I figured that he wasn't trying to imagine the story while reading. I was proud because I think we made progress today which may just as well be lost next week but oh well, I can do my job well, be satisfied about that, and not worry that I'm making him too smart to be tutored anymore.

I was wrong...

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 02:37:59 GMT

when I said that Johnny's parents were nice... They're bad. Johnny wanted to tell me of his new laptop so he was like...

J: Is that your laptop?

Me: No, it's my mom's.

J: You know, I got a free laptop. We weren't charged for it. It was free!

Me: Yea... That's what Free means... DIDJA STEAL IT? *I was only joking*

J: No. My dad was working late one night and somebody left a laptop so he took it home and gave it to me.

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF THATISSTEALING WTFWTFWTFWTF

I then started talking about how that's wrong and get this... he compared a laptop to a quarter...

"If you found a QUARTER on the ground and somebody left it there. You would take it, and wouldn't that be stealing."

IT'S NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING!!! Now I know why they're so rich. They're bad. I knew he was stupid because I was tutoring him but not stupid enough to tell me things like that! He even went to tell my mom. "Finally my dad is paid for all his hard work." YOU DO NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF HARD WORK! He probably got that from a movie or something. The laptop was filled with medical information. An medical intern, maybe? I would be devastated if someone took my laptop with my HARD WORK in it. I can't believe that someone would do that.

He invited me to his birthday party. (WTF?). It's on Halloween. He must be made fun of a LOT! Maybe he has no friends that he has to ask his relatives and tutors to come. I am so mean but that's what I REALLY think. When I implied no, he started making fun of my height. OMG!

I will now forever question his integrity. He showed me his tests and quizzes, an A and a B. I was happy for him then but now I'm wondering if he really did do it on his own... He also told me that he only lied once. I had said that that was a lie and he confessed. I really don't want to tutor him anymore but this job is important for us. Grr... STEALING IS BAD!

Recap

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:17:22 GMT

I had already written up a LONG entry but I accidently deleted it and now I'm too lazy to rewrite so I'll shorten it which is a good thing for you guys...

-Received a tablet.

-----Do not deserve it though. It's HUGE! 9x11, I think? $400! Money that we can't just use all willy-nilly...

-----In my defense, I asked for the smallest size and refurbished too. $80. Mom replies that if Dad spends tons of money on his religion than she's allowed to spend money however she wants it. Two wrongs don't make a right though...

-----I will not be enjoying Christmas, New Year(asian), or my birthday for a long time.

-Mother's going to Beauty School so that she's able to find work.

-----I will then be picking up my brothers Tues and Thurs.

-----I don't like that because kids at American walk in front of me while I'm driving.

----------They also stare at me since I'm totally short, young-looking, but am able to drive with passengers.

-----Mother is tired when she comes home.

----------Makes sad, tired face.

----------Dad does not like sad face so he warns of withholding money from her if that frown isn't upside-down. (I secretly think that Dad was going to keep money from us anyway regardless of how Mother looks.)

---------------It turns out that I may be correct since his family in VN wants to take a vacation... FOR A MONTH!!! IN A HOTEL!!! AND WILL BE EATING AT A RESTAURANT EVERYDAY!!!

--------------------I am angry because they barely work over there and they mooch off of Dad since he's the only one who is making a living in America.

-------------------------Also angry because his own family here has never been able to experience a vacation like that.

-I don't like Johnney very much anymore...

Him: May I borrow your tablet?

Me: No.

Him: Why?

Me: It's too valuable (and I don't trust you.)

Him: If I break it, my mom can just buy you a new one.

Me: Why should your money be wasted on a second one if I can just prevent any damage to this one?

Him: You can easily afford one in like a month with what we're paying you!

Me:...

Inner Me: DUDE! I DON'T WANT TO BUY ANOTHER ONE! IT'S ALREADY AN EXPENSE TO BUY THE FIRST ONE AND HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO WAIT A MONTH TO BUY ANOTHER ONE WHEN YOU BROKE IT. DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT YOUR MOM WILL PAY FOR IT?!

------Some time later------

Me: *Playing with my new toy*

Him: If I become a great artist, will you let me use it?

Me: IF you become a great artist...

Him: I'm already a great artist.

Me: ...

Him: Will you teach me how to draw?

Me: No. (I had already shown him some websites that teaches you how to draw and tutoring him was already sucking up my daily time.)

Him: MY MOM IS PAYING YOU TO TEACH ME HOW TO DRAW.

Me: ...! Your mom is only paying me to tutor you in Math and English.

Him: Why is it such a big deal if I use it to just draw a little line?

Me: *ignores and plays with toy*
Inner Me: IF IT'S SUCH A BIG DEAL, THEN WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT SUCH A BIG DEAL?

He then pestered my mom when she was tired to let him go to the park with us (when everyone was busy with their work and thus nobody wanted to go.) She said no and he ACTUALLY GROANED EVERY SECOND! It was annoying. Lately he's been groaning everytime I call him to correct him on his homework. It's like he wants to make sure that I know that he hates it. WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I WANTED TO DO IT! He only wants to play with us at our house but we're busy. One time he actually came over with no work for me to do and he just annoyed the hell outta the whole house.

When he started to realize that our house is boring, he stopped doing his work and asked to go home after FAKING to do work. I totally stopped him from going and asked if he had homework. He said that he could "correct" himself since the answers are in the back of the book. BS! If he could correct himself then he wouldn't need me. I asked him to let me see it and he's like, "Oh, I forgot to do some of the problems so you'll have to wait" I BET YOU TOTALLY DID NOT DO ANYTHING! Lucky I stopped him, he couldn't figure out most of them and when I show him the right way, he doesn't even pay attention. He just waits for me to give him the answer so I gave him a clue and left him to figure stuff out. He just sat there. Grr... If he wants me to take his money without tutoring him then I would gladly do it but his parents are so nice that I stop myself. Pfft.

- Past half month I have driven...
----- In a fog
----- To the side to let an ambulance past
----- And killed my car battery, asked people for help but got none
----- With people younger than me

I'm proud of myself...

RANT!

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 05:20:48 GMT

Rant rant rant... You have been warned. Somehow I was able to talk about everything I wanted to without really going totally 180. Bit like Catcher in the Rye.

Hello all. Bored but I don't wanna sleep yet and I've exhausted all of the sites that I usually go on so I though I should just post something. I might wanna read this later and (reminiscue?) No spell check. Argh. School's fine. Math is easy. Should be becuase I'm retaking Precal. Failure! I'm suppose to be taking Calc at least.

English sucks because it's tons of work but I think I made a friend, Glenn. He's an artist, or he acts like one. He's shy about showing his drawings but I think he's totally better than me. DeviantART is a total friend-maker. I wanted to make new friends in college and I discovered he was an artist so I just turned to him sometimes during class and said, "DO YOU HAVE A DEVIANTART?!" Random but that's me. He used to but not anymore. Then I tried to think of more stuff to talk about but I didn't have to. The ice breaker got him to open up and he just started talking to me from nowhere. Yea, DA! Reason that I'm so happy about making a new friend is that Catherine E and Wilson disappeared so I'm a total LONER! I saw Catkin though. Yay!

Art is great! I'm doing averagely well. The teacher complimented me once but I was too nervous to say thank you and was afraid that I'd appeared uppity. I don't like people praising me in front of others because I don't want them to feel bad. I felt really bad for the girl next to me. She's a really good artist but she was having an off day. You can tell that she was sad when people complimented the people around her. I totally know how that feels. She couldn't get her sketch started so she just worked on a previous work and it was so nice. She's good at charcoal. Pfft, everyone seems good at charcoal compared to me. I suck at it. It's my weakness. I can't believe I almost left graphite for vine charcoal. It may be easier but I still suck at it. I love Mon and Wed, mostly because of Art classes. I wish I had more of it. Next week, we're gonna be moving on to human anatomy! Yay! I hope it helps because I wanna become a great artist and prove my parents wrong. Mom openly told me that she doesn't encourage me because she feels that art won't bring me much money. I don't wanna be an architect! My uncle came over the other day and was talking about how he coud get me an architect job. "He has connections" Whatever. As if I care. He saw that I wasn't too thrilled about that so he said, "You can also build models." Like that's a perk. Psh. Gah! I might have to be an architect though... because I realized my art future isn't so bright.

Spoke to my counselor and she asked if I was good at art. ..., "I'm decent." We had a really difficult time because I didn't know what I wanted to be or where to transfer to. I'M SO LAME! She was tired too but she kept on smiling at me. lol. Everytime she looked at me, I thought she was waiting for an answer so I would just start talking and repeating myself. I wanted to offer her a starburst.

Anyways, driving's getting tolerable. First I was happy about being able to drive, then being able to drive alone, being able to park, being able to park without reversing, then being able to park right smack dab in the middle. When I was a worse driver, I would always do a little dance in my car (when no one was around) when I was able to park my car. I don't do them as much anymore. I'm growing up and I'm taking things for granted.

Like for instance, Johnny, my tutoree, was so happy when I allowed him to take home a sketch of mine. I redid the thing and didn't wanted it anyways. The point is that he loved it and I didn't. I had thought that I would always be fascinated at all the things that kids think of. Which reminds me, when I was little, I thought the signal arrows on the car's dashboard was MAGIC because they knew exactly where you were gonna go. LOL! I asked my grandma how it was possible and she explained that they let the other people know where you were gonna turn. I quieted down and Grandma thought that she had explained things well but I was like who cares about other people. How do they know where to go?! I stuck to my idea that they were magic. I expect that might be a possible explaination to how the GPS thing came about. Sigh. In the future, maybe some kid that was similar to my old self would ask me how the house knew when to heat itself and I would give them the REAL explanation instead of telling them that it was magic, that the house would be alive and that it was blowing warm air into itself. Then their imagination would die a bit after hearing of the real explanation and it'll be my fault.

Ooh...

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 05:18:32 GMT

For a moment, Mom thought Dad had left us. He was late from coming home from work. Mom went hysterical every time she heard a car door close. Turns out that he didn't leave us. He just went to visit his friends instead of going straight home but on the way, his front tire popped. He told me that he almost fell off a bridge. I can't help but feel that he was exaggerating or maybe I can't face the thought of losing Dad. I'm so thankful he's OK. He showed me the messed up tire and it looked awful. It was torn in half. It doesn't matter if I'm Catholic or not, I'm just grateful to any celestrial beings out there.

Today, I actually drove my friend home. She said that I was a good driver even though I warned her of my driving. My fear is going away now and I'm glad. We were going along pretty well but then a train got stuck and we thought taking a detour but neither of us knew how to get back on track. Luckily the train moved then and I headed to dropped her off at Tea Station. I felt so embarrassed. I never knew of any tea restaurant near 99 Ranch Market. I thought it was T Station and that it was some teen hang-out. Loser! It was nice though I didn't talk because I didn't know half of the people there. (I'm only hyper when I know everyone around me). I felt kinda bad also because there I was hanging out with people but I didn't spend my summer hanging out with YOU GUYS! Now some of you already left for college and I'm all alone at Ohlone except for Catherine E. and Wilson. I think I pissed them off too because I seemed bored. Later we went to the park and Mom had to call me. She wasn't angry and I'm glad that she let me stay. Dropped off Catherine E. and went home. Later though we found out that my car battery died and it's a good thing that I'm already home. Have to get my car checked out. It would suck to be stuck somewhere on a Friday. Hope you guys have a good weekend.

OH MY GRAVY!

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 17:28:15 GMT

I was feeling good about driving alone for a week now but Dad just dropped this lecture on how if a cop should ever stop you, don't put your hands in your pocket or else s/he might shoot you dead. Then he rambled on about all the terrific ways that an accident might occur. Now I'm back to being paranoid. I know he means well but sometimes it seems like he's intentionally being mean.

Another thing is that Dad's saving money. The bad thing about that is that there's less money to pay for the cell phones, gas, and all the necessities so that money's gonna have to come out of our tutoring job. Sigh... I guess Dad is saving up just in case something happens too. Religion is a troublesome thing. Both of them believes so strongly but one or both of them must be wrong. Praying doesn't seem to do much help and I must admit that my faith is being shaken.

I hope the future turns out well... and in my parent's opinion, that includes me taking on a career of architecture "because I like drawing". Maybe it's only me, but I think houses and people are totally different subjects but now that I think about it, I haven't really thought of what I'm going to be when I grow up. Any suggestions?

So far...

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 17:03:47 GMT

My aunt got my brothers and me a job tutoring. It's for emergency money for if our breadwinner decides not to win bread for us anymore. 15$ an hour and the cash will go to Mom. Sigh. AKA volunteer work? I'm not too keen on the aspect of tutoring kids since Ohio has left me a bit wary of them. Though the good news is that I'm getting a phone. Though it's a bit unfair that my brothers might get one too. It's fair in that we all get the same thing but it's unfair that I'd have to wait until college while they get theirs in 10th/8th grade. The phone's not for friendly calls though. It's only for emergency (car crashes) so I'm not allowed to give the number out so easily. Have to keep in mind that it comes out of money that might be needed for more important things in the future. Things are looking good. Keeping myself busy but not too busy. Hope you guys are doing well.

Get the ball rolling...

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 04:54:03 GMT

I don't expect anyone to be reading this. I've started a livejournal just for my own personal viewing.